Gamer's Grimm Fantasy
by NightsShad0w
Summary: Alright so in order of importance. First, the name's Cole and I've got a power most are vaguely aware of called the Gamer. Second, whatever iteration of the system I have access to is either bugged or made by a sadistic ass while they were on a mix of weed, vodka, cocaine, and morphine. Third, there is no tutorial. Fourth, there... actually isn't anything else that I'm aware of.
1. Chapter 1

You know it probably says something about how used to weird shit I am that, outside of a slight widening of my eyes and raising of an eyebrow, I'm unfazed by the cartoonish text box that had been floating in the center of my vision since I woke up this morning. Sprawled out on my bed like I'd just been stabbed and left for dead I simply read it again.

**YOU ARE THE GAMER**

Why am I getting a sense of deja vu here?

...Meh, whatever I have more important things to think about. Like if I'm crazy or about to start a journey for PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER!

…God I'm making a lot of references today.

With my thoughts as focused as borderline ADHD allows I gracefully made my way off of my comfortable mattress. *Cough* Flopped out like a lizard on LSD *Cough* Eventually finding my feet as the pop-up vanishes with my movement I mutter the word that will prove to me I will be venturing off for fame, adventure, and power. "_Inventory_," What getting told your so called 'Status' could just be some random as hell fluke of lucid dreaming/hallucinating that just gives you exactly whatever BS you want or expect to hear.

This is the warping of time and space allowing for storage of items in a pocket dimension where time does not flow. If that isn't proof I don't know what is!

**Error: 001-B**

**[Instance of requested course of action by User is unavailable]**

...Oh that's not good.

**Wisdom and Intelligence has increased by 1**

Fuck you too!

**I don't swing that way.**

…

Reaching over for my phone to check the time it's only 8am. And on a Sunday to boot.

"Yep it's just as I feared, too early for this crap." I say as I roll back onto my bed to try and sleep off the headache that's begun. Only for my door to be thrown open not even ten seconds later.

"Cole, wake up!" Biting back the urge to curse with a practiced ease. I crane my head from my pillow to give the brunette women that is my mother the most dead stare I can possibly manufacture. "Grblr" I grunt out.

"Come on you've been asleep since two o'clock yesterday. And you're going to eat something for skipping dinner." Rolling back over to sit on my bed I give a small 'shoo' motion with my hand and rub the bridge of my nose with the other. Luckily that's enough to convince her I'm moving and she gives, herself i assume, a nod of satisfaction before spinning on her heel and closing my door behind me.

With a sigh I stretch my arms out to get the kinks out of my shoulders before returning to what I was about to give up on as simply an illusion of wish fulfillment. May as well go through and see what fresh hell some fool is making a fanfic over.

"_Status_" I state allowing for the relatively expected response of two text boxes coming into existence with the first holding fairly normal page of pitifully low stats. That's depressing I mean come on I swim everyday and work my ass off for it and I get very near jackshit for it? That ain't cool.

Wait just gotta cover my last name with my thumb real quick and there! Totally fanfic proof. Absolutely no way that people can figure out who I am.

* * *

**Cole **

**Title: **_**Undecided**_

**Class: **_**Undecided**_

**LV: 2**

**EXP: 450/4000**

**Hp: 275**

**Hp Regen: 4/min**

**Mp: 350**

**Mp Regen: 5/min**

**Str: 6**

**Dex: 4**

**Vit: 3**

**Int: 6**

**Wis: 3**

**Luck: 4**

**STAT POINTS: 0**

* * *

The second page appears to be a list of skills as well as what I assume is going to be my elemental affinities since it's currently a blank stat block at the bottom of the window.

**{Gamer's Mind}**

**The standard loadout piece of any with an ability resembling the original Korean wielder's gift from Gaia. Allows for the user to keep calm in any situation should the need arise and gives protection from mental attacks and effects.**

**{Gamer's Body}**

**The standard loadout piece of any with an ability resembling the original Korean wielder's gift from Gaia. The user's body will heal of any damage that would otherwise hinder its ability to function in any meaningful way as long as the user still has Hit Points.**

**{Primal Ferocity}**

**A characteristic shared by some of history's greatest and simultaneously most violently brutal combatants that represents their simplistic and destructive methods of fighting. Increases all gains to stats via fighting an increase of 50% and all experience to skills through fighting a 150% boost.**

**Affinities:{}**

Alright I take back what I said those are definitely not skills. Traits or perks or something like that may be more accurate. Though I really question that last one. Contrary to popular belief I've not actually been in a fight before. Let alone any of… that.

Before I can call for a skills list or some equivalent. I hear an incredibly muffled voice through my door. Who in the world…? Oh right eat breakfast or be yelled at. I remember now. Standing myself up and walking out into the hall I take a few turns before the corridor opens to my house's living room.

I live in a fairly small one story building with the dining room, kitchen, and living room all semi sectioned off by the island/bar/countertop that we never use except when somebody is cooking everything that is stored in our fridge. In other words Thanksgiving.

Strolling over to the kitchen I pass by both my mom and dad on the couch watching the news. My mom is a somewhat overweight, white woman with shoulder length brown hair in her 40s that's currently wearing an old grey nightgown. My father was once a decently built, athletic asian man. Now nearing his mid-50s he's put on a few pounds but has still kept the relatively lean build of a 5' 5" football wide receiver. Who's currently wearing a dull yellow-gold shirt with navy blue shorts and crocs.

Quickly looting the fridge I find a plastic bag filled with a handful of pigs-in-a-blanket from a few days ago. Popping them onto a plate from the cupboards and I reheat them only to retrace my steps back to my room to eat as well as experiment. Luckily neither of them stop me that would've been annoying.

"Brush your teeth when you finish!" Resisting the urge to make a comment on not being three I, instead, just nod my head. Easier to just agree and not argue or I'm not gonna get anyw-

"And shave that scruff off your face!" That time I don't stop the groan that makes it's way past my lips as I turn the corner. I admit I've gotten a bit lax on that but it's barely anything. As I finally make it to my room I quietly nudge the door closed as I slip through the doorway.

My room's fairly basic, a bed on the same wall as the door, with the closet on the other side of my doorway, a semi-clustered desk with my computer on it, a window opposite my door with my dresser under it, and two shelves on either side of it with random toys/books from when I was younger on them.

Finding a spot to settle my plate on my desk I continue to occasionally pop one in my mouth as I attempt to figure out this possible power. Though I'm still like 35% sure I'm hallucinating this entire thing.

Alright so things that can be easily figured out and really need explaining and/or testing is finding a skills list without any knowledge outside of my stats and these traits I'll be going nowhere fast. Then quests, more specifically where are mine? Since I'm bound to have created at least one or would have begun with a tutorial quest yet I've been given no notifications outside of stat increases. And on the topic of stats why are my starting stats so abysmally low? Commonly human average is depicted as a 10 in any given stat. Though it's possible that isn't true for my system so I'll need to find some way of figuring that out. What? I like to believe I'm at least average.

May as well start at the top and see if I can mentally call up these windows while I'm at it. Thinking 'Skills' _thankfully_ has the intended result. Creating a singular pop-up listing out a multitude of skills in the classic style.

**{Stealth}LV:2**

**Large men in black plate mail with red cloaks and plumes don't sneak worth a damn. Unluckily for others you don't have that problem and can sneak marginally better than what most people expect out of a 5' 9" high schooler.**

**-Decreases chance of being spotted while not under direct observation by 2%**

**-Increases chance to be lost/unidentified in a crowd of at least 20 individuals by 2%**

**{Physical Endurance}LV:5**

**I do it because I can, I can because I want to, I want to because YOU SAID I COULDN'T.**

**-Decrease damage of physical attacks by 2.5%**

**{Crafting}LV:5**

**{Carpenting}LV:2**

**Woodworking-NOT THAT KIND YOU SICK BASTARD!**

**-Allows for the creation of simple, crude, and usually non-aesthetically pleasing basic tools and furniture made wood.**

**{DIY}LV:3**

**We'll have you known as the second coming of Macgyver. No refunds though, just in case :)**

**-Allows for the creation of simple and crude tools for slightly more advanced tasks made of seemingly random pieces of junk and a shit-load of duct tape.**

**{Expeditious Retreat}LV:6**

**Run, motherfucker! Run!**

**-Increases movement speed by 31%**

**-Decreases penalties to movement due to terrain by 3%**

That's actually not all that bad. Would've thought I'd have more but it's certainly better than nothing. Kinda wonder how it determined what skills I got though. Random picks? Some of the highest level ones? The lowest level? God damnit, even more questions and no answers!

Ruffling my hands through my hair I let out a growl of frustration. Only to jump as the air a couple feet in front of my face, opens up (for lack of a better term). The air expanding out in a black spherical form that has blue lightning crackling along its surface. In the second it took to form it was equally swift to turn itself inside out in a flash of that same pale blue coloration.

Leaving a square slip of paper slowly fluttering to the floor.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING!?

* * *

**A/N: Can we all just agree not to talk about how long I took to get back in to this? Cause that'd be great.**

**...No?**

**Well shit...**


	2. Chapter 2

Seriously what the fuck is going on with this system? Gently picking up the paper that spontaneously spawned out of the ether. I cautiously check around me to see if there were any more surprises in store.

Nothing more out of place, as far as I can tell. I go about trying to analyze the paper slip. I'll be honest I was woefully disappointed. It was something like a 2x2 square of blank parchment, yellowed slightly by age. Nothing about it is different from any piece of scrap paper that I could find.

Why did this appear? Obviously it's here because of The Gamer so what reasons would there be for a random item… drop. Item drop... Okay, that actually explains what it is. A drop and with a game of almost any style you get items from beating enemies or completing quests. As far as I'm aware I've done neither, but that's the optimal phrasing isn't it? As far as _I am aware _and while slaying a mob and getting a drop that way is far from subtle. When completing a quest the game doesn't have to be so in your face about the fact that you did.

Since I haven't gotten a notification for a quest they must be noted somewhere. Looks like I'll be getting a few more answers out of this thing today. With a small grin working its way onto my features I tried a few variations of the phrasing to find the command '_Quest Log_' and was immediately met with a screen that currently contains two quest entries. With this little bastard, in particular, sitting on top.

**[Terran Path: Awakening(Complete)]**

**Welcome, as you've no doubt discovered there is more than meets the eye to you and more importantly your world. With that in mind, it would be most beneficial for you to understand the basics of your new abilities. Oh, also The Game's been set to survival so you best get something in your belly before you accidentally starve yourself.**

**Access your:**

**Status {X}**

**Skills {X}**

**Eat breakfast. {X}**

**Rewards: 500 EXP, 2 Skill Points, Chakra paper**

**Bonus Objective: Feel out your limits {X}**

**Bonus Rewards: Extra Class option unlocked**

Okay, that's good that I actually get quests. Really worrying that I don't get any notification on when they're made but at least I do get them. So a little experience which is nice, I'm still nowhere near a level up but that's whatever I can wait a while, some skill points, and apparently this little slip of parchment is chakra paper.

Turning on my PC to double-check myself… Alright that's what I thought it's a slip of paper from the Naruto-verse essentially all it does is that when you pump chakra (or I suppose in my case mana) into the paper it'll tell you what you have an affinity for based on how it reacts. For instance, if you have a fire affinity it'll burst into flames.

Definitely gonna use that… once I figure out how to manipulate mana. Actually, I have a bookshelves worth of random fiction there's bound to be at least one thing I can use as a skill book right?

Let's see...

Percy Jackson? ...Nope that didn't give me jack shit.

The DC Injustice comics? ...Seriously? Not even when Constantine is the main character for this one? Fine whatever.

My old yearbook definitely isn't gonna help here.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe? FUCKING REALLY!

MOTHERFUCKING HARRY POTTER?!

**Skill book detected!**

**{Wanded Magick}LV:1**

**You're a wizard, Harry.**

**-?**

**Requires skill {Mana Manipulation}LV:10**

**Requires race {Wizard} or {Witch} or {Pure-blooded} variations of previously listed races**

I think my right eye started twitching.

*Sigh* Ok… I'm calm… completely… calm…

You know what, let's just see what my next quest is. That'll help distract me from this nonsense.

**[Terran Path: Opening Pathways]**

**Now as the next lucky individual to gain power and skill with which to use as deemed fit by whatever maestro has your strings we'll let you have some… character creation to go through. **

**Define your:**

**Play-style {}**

**Concept {}**

**Trouble {}**

**Accept:**

**Enigma {x}**

**Rewards: Classification, Unknown, and an additional perk**

Character creation? Let's go with a DPS play-style. I-what? Why didn't it update? I want to play as a tank…? Make me a Rouge! What the actual fuck is going on?

Nothing I say is completing "define your play-style" and I don't even know where to start for defining my "concept" or "trouble" whatever any of that's supposed to mean.

Doing my best to google search through as many keyword combinations that I can leaves me mentally exhausted with nothing to show for my work.

I'm practically banging my head against a wall at this point. There's just not enough information to work with. I have four keyphrases to help me figure this out. From the reward of the chakra paper, I thought that the system was pulling from outside sources. While that statement may be true that doesn't seem to be all that it's doing.

Enigma is already completed and I can guess that it's because I've accepted that this game, system, or whatever you wanna call it will be around me. Helping me and/or fucking with me for however long I live.

Damn, I've never really realized how much of a "This is happening now? Okay, fuck it. I'll work around it." approach to things I have. Something to consider when I have somebody to keep me coherent.

"...so any ideas?" I ask slightly louder than I would normally from all the chatter around the school cafeteria.

"You're trying to make me believe- with no proof whatsoever- that you're basically a fucking fanfic protag?"

Ladies and gentlemen, the asshole I have the pleasure of calling my best friend. With thick prescription sports goggles, an affinity for camo anything, and with a thin/slim build at the height of 5 foot 6-ish. He's-

"You paused longer than normal." He says quickly while jabbing a finger towards me to make sure I'm listening.

"Not really, but why does that matter?"

"If you're the damn POV and you're pausing in the middle of a conversation then you're introducing something or _someone_." He grounds out as I crack open my soda with that satisfying pop that you can only get from cans.

"Right. No real names. Jason work?" I inquire idly.

"Hell no." He waves his hand dismissively as he continues, "Let's go with AJ. I like the sound of AJ."

I roll my eyes before asking for clarification from the middle-eastern teen, "So you believe me?"

"You're either screwing with me, bat-shit fucking crazy, or telling the truth. I'm either humoring you or I'm actually helping you keep your head attached to the rest of your body."

"Or you're going to accidentally send me off to my death because you didn't tell me to get some help."

The jackass barks out a short laugh before stating simply, "Puh-fucking-lease worst case scenario is you end up killing someone. And that's not my problem."

"Fuck you."

Sadly my rebuttal simply has him laughing harder.

"It's true, Satan." He gets out between breaths

"Wasn't arguing that. And again fuck you." I say with less heat than ice.

He takes a second to get himself under control before starting to gesture wildly with his hands as he speaks.

"So essential you've got a tutorial quest that you have no idea how to progress through. So after spending the weekend bashing your head against a wall you've finally decided to ask someone for help. And decided for some ungodly reason to ask me."

"It was only Sunday, but yes. That's the long and short of it."

"Have you made any progress at all in that quest?"

I mutter out the necessary command to bring up the log as I tell him. "The only progress made on it was the objecti- Wait something filled in today."

"Shit! Really?" He sits forward more. His attention was completely taken with the sudden change.

"Yeah, you mind if I just read out the whole thing?"

"Go ahead might give us something more to work with."

**[Terran Path: Opening Pathways]**

**Now as the next lucky individual to gain power and skill with which to use as deemed fit by whatever maestro has your strings we'll let you have some… character creation to go through. **

"I do not like the sound of that."

"Me neither, but what exactly can I do about it? If something gave me an ability it stands to reason that I'd be lower in strength to the entity which gave me the ability in question."

**Define your:**

**Play-style {}**

**Concept {}**

**Trouble {X}**

_**The Trees for The Forest**_

"That the one you already had done?"

"No that's the new one…"

"Oddly specific. What's the bit you already had done?"

**Accept:**

**Enigma {x}**

"That one I found completed when I saw the quest."

"I don't have a clue on what that could mean," AJ huffs out a sigh before continuing, "What are you getting out of this anyway?"

"Uh... **Rewards: Classification, Unknown, and an additional perk**." I say bringing up a finger for each of the listed rewards.

"Okay… so jokes aside it seems like no matter what needs to happen to complete the objectives it's not going to kill you." AJ slowly remarks. Like he's piece by piece making sense of the quest.

"Considering the flavor text says that this quest is about character creation and I think I'm getting a class as a reward. That's pretty likely."

"Yeah. Yeah. So while we don't know the exact details of what we need to 'define' that-"

"That doesn't mean we can't complete it by defining the character in question."

By this point, we're both smiling at each other like mad scientists.

"In other words defining you. Possibly in the terms of the game. No, sorry it's better to phrase it as 'in the terms of A game."

This right here is why this sarcastic douche is my best friend. We bounce ideas off of one another and it's damn near impossible to stop us once we get going like this. I let my smile drop closer to a neutral line as I start the brainstorming back up.

"How would you define a character in as few words as possible?"

AJ pauses with confusion edging into his face before he gets a hundred-yard stare, "Well I'd say-"

"No spoilers."

"...uh what?"

"No spoilers. Take Spiderman as an example. Explain him as a character. No spoilers."

"I… shit. Okay, where are you going with this you've lost me."

"Just go with it you'll see"

"Umm…I'd call out Spidey's lack of self-esteem, constant need for approval from a father figure, an absurd amount of willpower, and a moral compass equal to Captain fucking America."

"So his flaws and strengths."

"Yes, I'd describe his flaws and strengths." He pauses for all of three seconds before exclaiming, "Forest for the trees! You focus on the details instead of the big picture. So your flaw is The Trees for The Forest!"

"Hush, you're shouting." I turn away from the ecstatic idiot and towards the people a table over. "Sorry, he just figured out a riddle." I bend the truth before turning back to AJ. "Alright, now that we have that sorted. What is my strength as a character?"

"Shouldn't you be answering that?"

"While I would love to I have very little sense of self. I've confused myself with how many facades I wear around people."

"Wouldn't that be your strength? You know the whole 'a face for every crowd' kinda thing? I've seen how you are when you…shift for lack of a better term. I'd call that a hell of skill. "

"I've still got the mission up it hasn't changed with me admitting that. Either it's counting that as more of a flaw or it's not my main strength. Besides it's really just a way to keep people neutral towards me."

"Then what about your little schemes?"

"Schemes? Is that what we're calling lying to get out of classes?"

"Yes and no. You don't realize how weird it is that you just predict how people are going to act do you?"

I pause for a considerable time. My confusion was almost certainly written all over my face, "I'm... so confused here."

"Dude I was with you when you ghosted Gwen for a fucking month! The only reason she ever tracked you down again was because she basically stalked me for a day. Then ran at us when you showed up. And you still slipped away before she got to us!"

"Okay. I get it. I'm sneaky sonuvabitch. Did we have to bring up that shit with my ex?"

"It was impressive."

"I was being weird and moody."

"You're always weird and moody."

"Okay. Okay, we're changing the subject. I'm getting absolutely roasted here."

"Yeah, sure. Did the-"

"Yep, it says; **Concept: Scheming, Teen Deceiver.**"

"That is like. You. To a fucking T."

"I would be the Trickster archetype."

"Oh definitely. What would my archetype be? I'm thinking the- WHAT THE FUCK!" AJ shouts as another item starts spawning on top of the fucking table! Reacting more than thinking I grab his over-sized camo bag from the tabletop before throwing it over the black void that's spawning something.

The bag landed over the sphere (covering it entirely) as if it were a solid thing and stayed there for a second before the item fully spawned and the bag visibly sagged.

I was watching the reactions of the people around us and while a few people had turned at his shout. This is the cafeteria, there's always shouting and people are already going back to ignoring us.

"What the fuck was that?" AJ hissed at me as I turned to look at the people sitting behind me.

Nothing really stood out reaction wise. It doesn't mean someone didn't see that.

"We're moving this conversation," I say as I stand up, grab the reward from under the bag, grab my own bag from the seat beside me, and start walking. The sounds of AJ grabbing his bag and jacket the only signs that he listened to me.


End file.
